Cultivating Joy
What We Need to Lead
"In every community, there is work to be done. In every nation, there are wounds to heal. In every heart, there is the power to do it." - Mary Williamson
We can all make a difference in our world, in our community, in our homes. We only need the will to do it and we must have our basic needs met so that we feel full enough to pour out to others. For me, what fills my cup and brings me joy are my people.
My children are the greatest gift I could have imagined. My husband is human kindness embodied, and my friends are a balm to my soul.
I am fortunate to live in the same community that raised me. This community of people has nurtured me, recognized my gifts and given me purpose. This means that I regularly see people that I've known for decades; at restaurants, at events, doing every day business. To me this is community. Knowing people, getting personal, feeling fed (spiritually and at the dinner tables of people I know, and love, who know me and love me back).
Cultivating joy is critical for a leader. It is the secret sauce that makes life worth living and work not feel like a means to an end. If we are to give and encourage, lift up and mentor, we must take time to tend to our own garden before we harvest it to feed others.
I have found that if, and when, I feel stressed or overwhelmed, I can take a walk or a run and pray. I can call a friend. I can drink a glass of wine and look outside at my garden, I can play fetch with my dog. I can write a letter and never mail it. I can confide in someone I respect. I have learned through the Organizational Leadership program to meditate, to sit in uncomfortable silence, and it has been life changing. I stay grounded in these things and find my way back to center. This is the true joy in life for me.
I have also found that the more I dwell on others, their actions, words or behaviors, the less joy I feel. We do well by avoiding the temptation to speculate about others' motives and judge them for not being the way we want them to be. Mother Theresa was famously quoted once as saying, "When we judge people, we have no time to love them." And Abe Lincoln was known to have said, "I don't like that man. I must get to know him better." This, living with things and people as they are, embracing radical acceptance and living your life on purpose, is the way to cultivate joy.
